||"dawnbreak in the west"|
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Men have it bad?
Norah Vincent, lesbian and amateur sociologist, has published a book: Vincent disguised herself as a man and then went into the dating scene. Instapundit's wife Dr Helen then pointed to it, Instapundit then linked to her and, well, the rest is history. Or sociology. Or something.
Vincent seems particularly shocked that she was expected to prove "himself" far more as a man dating straights than she was as a woman dating lesbians.
I never did see that as a problem. I was an academic before I was a programmer, and I've had to take programming tests even after college. Proving myself is something I'm used to.
It helps that I'm shortish and thinnish, and that in the past I've dated women around my height or even taller. It's hard for them to see me as a threat, or even as a pig, if I'm not a threat and if whatever piggishness I come up with is of no account. Also, whereever I've run across a drama queen, I've been able to steer clear.
Where I have had problems with my dating life, it's not because of anything Norah Vincent came up against.
Okay, I'll talk: women need to be forthcoming about what issues they face, and to do so up front; they need not to carry a torch for their ex-flames - especially when said ex-flame and current flame are in the same room; they need not to push the guy away the day after Date One when Date One actually went well in their opinion; they need to resist the urge to take money from their boyfriends / husbands, especially when it's beyond what they need to survive.
Keeping faithful is helpful, too, of course, but since it hasn't affected me yet I didn't bother listing it. I've been faithful; and if anyone ever cheated on me, I never heard about it. Either ignorance is bliss or else I've been lucky. I can't say I care at this point.
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