The House of David

"dawnbreak in the west"

Saturday, May 07, 2005

How not to be gay in Spokane


Spokane's mayor Jim West frequently supports anti-gay legislation. For example, he "initiated legislation to outlaw sexual contact between consenting teenagers; [and] supported a bill that would have barred gays and lesbians from working for schools, day care centers and some state agencies" and as mayor, "threatened to veto a measure extending benefits to domestic partners of city employees". (He also voted to define marriage as one man, one woman; but I do not consider this "anti-gay" in isolation.)

Spokane is the major city in the hinterlands of Washington State. That region is decidedly different from Seattle in outlook. What flies in Spokane does not fly in Seattle.

Recently, Jim West got caught arranging trysts in a chatroom with a reporter whom he thought was an 18 year old male. Note that this guy claimed he was 17 when West started chatting him up. Also note that West promised to have the city hire him as an intern.

Because as everyone knows, an internship is the first step on a journey to public service. One should only hire an intern in whom one can have total confidence, trust, and domination. (It also helps if the candidate intern can suck like a lubricated Hoover.)

I bet Jeff Goldstein ghostwrote the following himself, on behalf of State Senate Majority Leader Lisa Brown: "The public's trust is eroded when what elected officials advocate is different from how they conduct their own life." IT'S ABOUT THE HYPOCRISY! (Insert riposte about Washingtonians' trust in elected officials who do not investigate electoral fraud in their party's favour, here.) RedState comments on this line of argument too. But I submit that there is no hypocrisy here, at least not in Jim West's worldview.

So in light of West's actions as mayor and of his actions, uh, in other capacities, I've compiled the following guide on how not to be gay in Spokane.

  • By definition, marriage cannot be instituted for gay couples. Further, no other domestic arrangement can be defined between them, even by another name. Same-sex contact should be limited to the sanctity of an AOL "Boyz2Men" chatroom.
  • It is dangerous for teenagers to have sex with one another. They need the guiding hand, and other extremities, of powerful older men.
  • Consensual homosexual acts are a sin for both parties. But you're not really gay if you can make the other guy your bitch.
  • Hooray for the Boy Scouts!

Washingtonians could doubtless think of others...


posted by Zimri on 08:15 | link | 0 comments

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